While everyone else on the Interweb is arguing about Batman vs Superman or Iron Man vs Captain America, I’ve been making my own matches.
I keep up with a lot of shows, and one thing I always do, aside from ship (I ship everything), is pair off different people to see who would win in a crossover tournament. I’m not talking about DC vs Marvel or Goku vs Superman (Goku would win–no question). These are my picks for cross-fandom fights.
Let the battles begin!
Drogo vs Rollo
These men could be brothers from another mother. Just look at the pics. They’re even making the same face. Not only do their names rhyme–well, kinda/sorta, but they both rock that long hair/beard combo, have body paint and/or tattoos, and forgo wearing shirts (possibly to show off the tattoos). And those are just the visual similarities. They both have arranged marriages to prominent women (whom they can’t talk to because they speak another language), hot tempers, legendary warrior status, an interest in power and destiny, and have both been referred to as “savage” while being hailed as one of the finest warriors alive.
So which of these men is really the finest warrior alive?
I don’t think you need a prophesy to predict who wins this match. I’m going to roll with Rollo.
I can hear you disagreeing through the Interweb. I know that Drogo has that long braid that suggest he’s never been defeated, but come on, look how fast man hair grows. He grew that braid in two years tops. In all fairness, we don’t get to see him fight, just a raid here and there and that one knife fight that awards him his lethal boo-boo. Rollo has a lot more on screen battles to base this victory on.
Let’s look at Rollo. Whether he’s fighting with his brother, against his brother, with his brother, or against him, he’s hard to stop. He fights–as Odo puts it–like a wild bear. Jumping shield walls, lifting men on spears, thwarting war machines. He even gets trampled by six horses and thrown off of a wall and still lives.
Catherine De Medici vs Cersei Lannister
This has got to be my favorite crossover match. This is a battle, not of brute strength, but of wits. Both are masters of manipulation and poison–and fashion. These ladies look like they raid each others’ closets or shop at the same store. With wavy gold hair in intricate updos and flowing red gowns, they look like they could be mother and daughter. Aside from the fact that they both rock red dresses, they have very similar personalities: they’re smart, cunning, snarky Queens who love to drink wine and get their way.
Their greatest commonality: They would do anything for their sons … anything.
I hate to say it, but once again, my vote is not for the GoT character, but for Catherine. Even when she’s caught, and she’s seldom caught in her own webs, she gets her way out of it. She certainly wins more than she loses. I don’t know that I can say that for Cercei. Catherine gets away with murder, lies, attempted murder, adultery and far worse. She just has a lot more power and influence than Cersei.
And you’d have to be nasty to beat Cersei. I think Catherine’s cut out for the task. I mean, she bought Narcisse’s horse, gave it to him as a gift, and then killed it and served it to him as a steak. That’s pretty cruel. I’d hate to think what she’d do to Cersei.
This next one is for fun of course
Jaime Lannister vs Luke Skywalker
Because the one armed thing and the sister thing.
It might not even be a fair fight since Luke has the force and he just has to force stab Jaime with his own sword. With regular blades, Jaime would win, but I think the force and my vote goes to Luke on this one.
So what about …
Jaime Fraser vs Jaime Lannister
I didn’t pair these two off just because of the name. No doubt this would be one of the sexiest cross-fandom fights. Two men fighting face to face, smolder against smolder. To be honest, I’d be just as happy to see them kiss. But on a serious note, I do think they would be pretty evenly matched. However, I think due to having more polished skill, Jaime would win, one handed or not.
Ok another one for fun
Ned Stark vs Boromir
The resemblance is uncanny. Gee, I wonder why.
Prepare for the greatest meme war–or sword fight.
Let’s look at what they have in common. Both fight with big swords, both are played by Sean Bean. Both die. Really ’nuff said.
I think Boromir would win almost simply for being younger. Not only that, but going off of on-screen battles, look at all the orcs Boromir kills. Ned can’t even get a hit on Jaime.
I know you all think I’m biased against Game of Thrones at this point. So let’s just pair off another and see if he wins or he dies.
Samwell Tarly vs Samwise Gamgee
Everyone needs a Sam.
I’m sure Martin wasn’t at all influenced by Tolkien when he invented this character. cough, cough …
This might not sound like a great fight. They don’t look like much and they don’t have a lot in the way of self confidence, but they’re loyal and stalwart. Endanger the ones they love and they’ll show you what they’re made of under that huggable exterior.
So who Sams better?
To be Frank (or should I say Sam) I think Samwise would win. Look how brave he is in Mordor, especially when he takes on all those orcs alone to rescue Frodo. I don’t think Samwell could survive Mordor. I do, however, think Sam could handle the black, though I think he’d miss the taste of strawberries and Rosie.
It’s time for a three way
Katniss vs Hawkeye vs Legolas
These are the most notorious archers in all of fandom. Let’s see who’s the most bad-ass bowman–or woman.
I haven’t seen all the Hunger Games movies, but I like Katniss, from her braid to her rebellious, independent nature. She is a survivalist, but can she survive this three-way match?
Well, Hawkeye does have those massive forearms, some awesome moves, and he does shoot Loki out of the sky–even though Loki does catch the arrow before it explodes (crying foul on that one). Surprisingly enough, he does run out of arrows. Could this cost him the win?
Legolas runs out of arrows too, but look how much better he compensates. Legolas doesn’t even need his bow. It just makes him look good. Who needs a bow when you have batshit badassery. Everything Legolas does is awesome and sometimes just plain ridiculous, from taking down an oliphant like it ain’t no shit to riding a bat. Whether stupid or awesome, no one does it like Legolas.
I really think the odds would be in Legolas’ favor.
Eowyn vs Lagertha
I put these two together for the obvious reasons. For starters, they’re both shield maidens. That alone makes them worthy opponents. They’re both also amazing fighters who don’t let any man hold them back. Not to mention they both have awesome blond hair and are loyal to their families. I’m really not sure who would win. Eowyn does kill the Witch King, which no man can destroy, but Lagertha has killed … a lot. To be honest, this one I’m leaving as a draw.
Oberyn vs Rey
These two are very different, but I picked them for their fighting styles. They both fight with staffs or spears. The scene in Star Wars where she’s bashing those guys with the staff reminded me of Oberyn fighting the Mountain.
So I thought, which of them would win in a battle of staff vs spear.
Even though Oberyn uses poison to his advantage, Rey still has the force, and a natural fierce fighting style.
So … in this case, even though he’s a master, I’d say Rey. She seems to share Oberyn’s passionate temper, and could easily be one of his daughters. Being a sand snake would certainly suit her considering where she lives. She’d easily fit into the Game of Thrones universe sans force.
Daenerys vs Hiccup
I know, I need a Daenerys show down. I couldn’t think of who to put her against. In all honesty, she doesn’t fight for herself so much as she has an army and dragons to fight for her, so I’m going to put her against another dragon user. Let’s just do Daenerys vs Hiccup.
Since the dragons do all the work, technically this fight should be called
Drogon vs Toothless
Named after Drogo, he’s the troublemaker in the bunch. He’s also larger and more aggressive than the other dragons.
Even though Toothless has a history of taking down larger, stronger dragons, I think Drogon could take him. He certainly doesn’t stand a chance if all of her dragons join in the fight.
Merlin vs Gandalf
**THIS IMAGE IS UNDER STRICT EMBARGO UNTIL 00:01HRS 4TH DECEMBER 2008** Picture shows: Merlin (COLIN MORGAN). (c) Shine
For obvious reasons: they’re wizards.
To judge this fight, let’s look at their powers.
Most of Merlin’s spells seem to be like a force push. Other times he moves objects, often to make them fall on his enemies. He can also disguise his appearance and summon a dragon.
Alot of Gandalf’s spells are similar from the force pushes to the summoning animals. Though Gandalf summons eagles. He can also emit light from his staff to light a path or fight shadow foes. He can also … perform exorcisms?
Wizard powers seem to be a little confusing, but I’m going to bet that Gandalf is the more wizardy wizard.
This last one is just a tease
Stormtroopers vs Vogons
Star Wars Stormtroopers pose for photographers in a queue at Legoland in Windsor west of London on March 24, 2012, to mark the launch of the new Star Wars Miniland Experience. AFP PHOTO/CARL COURT (Photo credit should read CARL COURT/AFP/Getty Images)
Here you go, the worst shots in the universe will come face to face to … miss each other entirely.
The win goes to whoever lands the first shot.
Well, looking at the on-screen bullseyes … the Vogons have one hit in the entire movie. The stormtroopers have made a few more hits, and just like the Vogons, nonefatal
So the worst army in the universe goes to the Vogons.
I hope you enjoyed the list. Let me know if you agree/disagree. What are some more awesome cross-fandom fights?